You guys, I am realing. Two days ago, I saw THIS in my HOUSE.
Photo source here.
I was folding laundry, having just brought it in off the balcony. Suddenly, had the sense that something unearthly fell down from the pile of clothes and scuttled under couch. I dropped to my hands and knees, and HOLY EFFING GIGANTIC ROACH I AM DYING, EEEK! EEEK!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKK! And there was no husband to come and rescue me, only a baby who was laughing manically at my screams. So I manned up, grabbed a book, threw it with all my might, and heard an ungodly crunch. The end. Lights out.
Unfortunately for me, I have not recovered. At that particular moment there was neither tequila nor any Xanax in my house, and so with no way to self-medicate the pain away, I am still all jumpy and twitchy like. And I kid you not, I jumped three feet out of my bed last night when the cat came in for a cuddle.
Thank god we're heading back to North America soon, where the roaches are of a more resonable size.