What to Expect When You're Expecting Your Child to Pee-Pee In The Potty

I am a good, Mother Earth fearing hippie, and like a good hippie, I cloth diaper.  And let’s be honest, it’s no biggie, the whole cloth thing, but it is a bit gross with the liquids and the solids and the occasional pee-pee pants and the stinky stinky wet bag, so I wanted to be done by the time my girl was two. Also, like any good hippie, I'm receptive to diaper-free baby shenanigans and isn't early potty learning like some sort of parental badge of honour? Right? It's like the way into hippie heaven or something, isn’t it? 


Maybe. But it one thing I do know is that that toilet training is super disgusting. Like, hey-can-we-just-go-back-to-diapering-until-you’re-old-enough-to-understand-logic-and-reasoning kind of disgusting. 


 


The amount of pee I have wiped off the floors, well I just can’t even think of a witty simile that would convey the volumes and the breadth of the OMG SO MUCH PEE-PEE. And, you guys, today there was an incident involving solid waste and the balcony floor and that's all I'm going to say about that except for one last thing which is holy h to the double hockey sticks, why does no one tell you about this??!?!?!@?


 


And, the worst part is about the whole toilet training thing? It’s not working. 


 


My girl alternates between thinking that the potty is the seat of the ninth circle of hell, and thinking that the potty is a fantastic tool with which to garner my attention. She’s figured out that sitting on the potty is a super awesome way to get me to read books to her and play babies all the livelong day. I’m washing dishes? Gaga!  I‘m tidying up? *signs diapers* I’m cooking her lunch? *throws a potty sign*.


What to ExpectNoting to see here. No really. There's nothing to see here. She's not going potty. No way. But read a book AND play babies? A++ Gold star awesome.


So you see, there’s pee-pee and poop on my floor, and my child thinks that potty time is play time, and actual play time is pee-pee on the floor time. 


 


Basically, I thought that I was failing at parenting. Again.


 


Until I looked up potty training in What to Expect, The Second Year. And they told me, in reassuring tones, that actually there is no associated cognitive or developmental benefit to potty training early. No gains, no smarts, no promise of future achievement and gold star hippiedom. They said that most toddlers don’t train fully until well after their second birthday, and that it’s a long process. One that all kids go though, so no biggie, chill the eff out, lady, and you doing fine. So is your kid.


 


 


I took a great deal of comfort in this. Because my OCD Natural Parenting crazysauce nonsense usually turns me towards those Attachment Parenting-type tomes that tell me I need to drop everything and tend to my kid 100 percent of the time and if I don’t do it just right, and if there are any tears involved whatsoever, I’ll ruin the relationship and my kid will end up with Attachment Disorder. 


 


PS, thanks a lot, Mr. Dr. Man who’s name rhymes with Mears.


 


The What to Expect series is down to Earth. It’s practical, sensible, and realistic. It respects the hippie fairy dust end of the parenting spectrum alongside the cry-it-outers. From breastfeeding to bottle feeding, it’s inclusive and non-judgmental. It’s informative and helpful.  And I like that. A lot.


 


Now, here’s something super exciting: YOU have the chance to win a pack of THREE What To Expect books, including What to Expect When You’re Expecting, and What to Expect: The First Year, and finally, What to Expect: The Second Year. Maybe you’re not expecting. Maybe you don’t have a baby or a one-year-old. Maybe you even have kids already. Still, enter. Cuz, your sister or friend or niece or co-worker may be expecting and if you win, you can re-gift these awesome books and you’ll look like a total hero.


 


Truth.


 


How to Enter


 


Visit the What To Expect and leave a comment below. Tell me you want to win. That’s it.


For additional entries, follow  What to Expect on Twitter or on Facebook. You can follow me on Twitter, like my Facebook page, follow me on Instagram, follow me on Bloglovin, or HelloCotton, or any other way there might be to creep on my internet presence. Just leave a separate comment below for each entry.


 


This giveaway is open to EVERYONE IN THE WORLD until Thursday, May 10th, at which point the party is over.


 


***Updated May 16th 2012*** 


Heyyyyyyy, mamanegi, YOU are officially a hero and you win. I'll be in touch soon.


 


Fine Print


I was not componsated for this post and the views herein where entirely my own. I was provided with the three above mentioned books for the purposes of this review.