In-between Time

Time in Shanghai is unfurling slowly. We are in this holding pattern, waiting, waiting. For when our apartment is ready, for our furniture to arrive, for our community to form, for life to begin. 

We are beginning to sketch out a routine, punctuated mostly by school drop off and pick up. But without mundane domestic tasks, work commitments, and playdates and social commitments, it feels like we’re floating in an in-between state where motivation is fleeting and time inches past.

Most of the day it’s just Hugo and me, puttering around, taking care of forms and paperwork and appointments and health checks and the endless shopping trips that are part of the process of settling into a new country. Where are days used to be bustling and brimming, full with friends, and deadlines, and outings, and tasks, now they’re quiet and a little lonely. 

I imagined that I’d use this time to clean up my photo archive, to write here, to examine my work and begin a new personal project. I thought I’d read books, maybe watch smart films, find the best cafes, explore the city. I thought I’d start to do a bunch of back end tasks that need doing but are perpetually back-burnered by the more pressing requirements of business and life. But instead. I’m taking naps with Hugo, getting lost in blogs and other such nonsense.

All of this isn’t necessarily bad. I was intensely busy in the months leading up to our move. I wasn’t sleeping well, and I was fairly run down. So it’s no surprise that I got hit like a ton of bricks by the flu when we arrived. So this period of rest and quiet is certainly valuable. And fresh towels, sheets that change themselves, and room service dinners are not the worst thing in the world. Right?

Still, I’m daydreaming of cakes I’ll make in my new sunlit kitchen (that has a window!!! and a pantry closet!!!) and green plants that will brighten corners, a cat curled up on the couch, andsomething simmering on the stove. (Coincidentally I’m also convinced the move into a new apartment will the the catalyst for my transformation into the kind of person actually does have things simmering on the stove.) I’m yearning for playdates, and work appointments, and stumbling down stairs carrying bikes and scooters, and trips to the playground where we’ll see familiar faces and the kids will make friends. It will come, all in good time. So, I’m trying to enjoy this quiet. But you know, I’m ready for a change of pace.